Monday Bike Ride!

As you all know... I suck at writing on my blog, but that's not the point of this blog post. The point of this post is to tell you one of my recently hilariously awesome story.

Well to begin, you may have also noticed this weekend was Canada day weekend, so it was a long weekend! The whole fam jam went down to Raymond for the festivities. The whole weekend was filled with perfect weather, treats, and good times (such as climbing hoodoos and peeing on fires). This is also not the point of my blog post.

Carol and I had to leave the celebration a day early because Carol had to catch a flight down to Utah ,at 6:30 in the morning, to see all of her family. So we left Sunday night and I drove her to the airport at 4:30 Monday morning, than went home and slept. When I awoke I realised that no one was here, I had the whole day to myself! I decided it would be a good idea to not waste the beautiful weather and sit on my butt all day inside, so I came to the conclusion that I should go on a bike ride, only problem was I didn't own a bike. So using all my ninja skills I snuck outside into broad daylight and just straight up STOLE A BIKE!! (from inside the garage...) After accessing a bike I could only think of one thing to do.... get a slurpee. After that mission was accomplished I decided to ride down to the Glenmore Reservoir just to check it out. As i was biking past it I noticed a path that went right beside the water so I  followed it even though it was pretty difficult on my bike.

The path was definitely not designed for bikers because I ended up having to get off and walk my bike through the thick bushes, plant life, and rocky terrain. It was quite beautiful and peaceful though, it seemed as if I was not in the city at all anymore.

After enjoying ( and battling) nature this Bad Boy came into view.

 Of course I was way farther away so I couldn't see it quite as well, but I had to find out what the crap it was! I was so fascinated and it gave my bike ride and actual purpose. I continued forward on my journey. As I got closer I grew more anxious to know what exactly this thing was. I arrived at a obstacle in my path, a chain link fence. Luckily part of it was pushed down I was able to carry my bike around it. When I got right up beside it I found this hidden in the tall grass.

So what is the first thing that I did? I CLIMBED ALL UP AND DOWN THAT!! It looked all abandoned and rusted out, I was sure that it wouldn't be too big of a deal.

I had to bypass a few locked gates and climb a few ladders to get onto the top to get a better view.

But I finally made it! It was pretty awesome and fun to climb on, I was pretty proud of my discovery. Suddenly in the distance I noticed a boat, a big boat, coming my way. It was one of those big paddle boats and it was headed directly towards me. I thought about snapping a picture but I got a little antsy so I got the heck out of there! 

Directly south of this dock thing there was a dirt road that led somewhere, it was my only escape so I had no choice but to follow where it lead, I was hoping it would lead me back out onto a main road somewhere, I was horribly wrong. I ride down the road and up a hill and notice a few people and a couple buildings, and I quickly just thought that it was someones house and yard I was in, so I went the opposite direction and continued to follow the road. Than I stumbled upon some more buildings.

"Where am I?" I thought to myself, something just didn't feel right. "What is this place and how did I get here"

There were all these old school buildings and a bunch of people walking around. I knew something wasn't right, but I just continued on the road until I came across this.

Than I realised that I must have just snuck into Heritage Park!! I had never been there before but I had remembered the trains right at the entrance whenever I drove past, and how would I know where I was if I had never been there before and especially if I came in through the back! 

I started to bike a little faster through the park trying to avoid the large groups of people, but at the same time I was very curious about what this park had to offer, so I looked around a bit and hit some jumps on my bike ( a good way to draw attention to myself, which i didn't want, but it was fun anyways). After I had looked around a little bit I figured now would be a good time to get out of there. I was biking frantically to find the exit. I just decided to follow the crowd of people. As I was riding by them people would ask if they could borrow my bike because they had been walking around in the heat all day. I would just smile and laugh and continue biking past them. Than i finally found the exit gates, except there were so many people and employees down there I figured it would not be the best place to exit. I made my way behind some building and up some stairs and I had found another exit. I big wide open gate with not as many people and no employees, as far as i could see. 

I started bolting down towards it and it is just in front of me when some woman comes out and yells "GET OFF YOUR BIKE!! GET OFF IT NOW!!!" so I dismount and walk towards her and casually ask "hows it going?" 

she than said "security wants to talk to you, where's your buddy?" 

At this point i was a little worried. "I am alone" I exclaimed to her.

She than gets on her walkie talkie and says "We found him, come out here"

The security guard than came out and just started asking me all these questions "how did you get in here? what are you doing?" 

I than explained to him that I came in through the back, but i wasn't purposely trespassing, and that I didn't know that I didn't even know this park was here.

"Where do you live?" he asked

"Garrison Green" I replied

"I find it hard to believe that you didn't know this park was here."

I didn't know what to say, so of course... I made something up.

"Oh I'm new here... and just... exploring the area, I honestly didn't know this was here."

So he bought it and let me go.

As I was biking away I just said "Sorry, and have a nice day!"

It was quite the experience, but then I was faced with a new challenge. How would I get home?

I'm not dead! Also I made a "friend"

For all of my hundreds of readers!
Don't worry I'm not dead, I just really like to procrastinate.... a lot! Many things have happened over the 2 month span that I didn't write about, and maybe someday I will write about them. But today I will post a nice story that happened not too long ago.

So a couple of weeks ago Joe, Greg (Joe's buddy) , and I went for an early morning skateboard session down at millennium park at around 7 am on a Saturday (yes, were that hardcore!). We arrive and it is a little brisk and no one else was around so we sit down on a ledge and pile all of our stuff together to get ready to shred. As we are sitting around talking we see this girl rollerblading just giving it her all! She spots us and starts making her way towards us, This is when we notice that she might be a little on the weirdo side. She pulls up and she says to me "HIGH FIVE!" and I noticed something was in her hand, so i stuck my hand out and we high fived but at the same time she tried putting what was in her hand into mine, so it became some awkward prolonged hand touching ordeal. I looked into my hand and the thing she gave me seemed to be the back of a broken watch. I looked back up at Joe and he was giving me one of those "WTF?" faces, I tossed him the special treasure which i received and he just smirked. "I`m Chantelle" she than said to us, and we introduced ourselves as well.

Besides that awkward moment you could tell she was a little "off" just by what she was wearing. To start off one of the wheels on her Rollerblades was totally missing! She was wearing this nasty puke dirreah green skirt with pink trim that was all wavy and frilly at the bottom. Under that she was wearing tights, with the thickest furriest leg warmers created. She had a tank top on with some other normalish shirt and one of those big puffy black vests. Various things were wrapped around her wrists, such as elastics, bracelets, beads, and even a nice Nixon watch. She was wearing one glove, the ones that bums wear without fingers, and her fingernails were just filthy. She was wearing these sunglasses that were just all over the place on the crazy scale, they were blue and red and white in colour and the lenses were square but not aligned or proportional to each other. To top it all off she had an old school bicycle helmet that fit snug to her head. Other than all that she looked pretty normal...

A rough drawing to give you a better picture of what she looked like.

After skating for a bit, she asked Greg if she could use his phone. She was talking on it for quite a while, while we were just cruising around. Finally she got off and gave Greg back her phone and said "I put my name and number in there just in case". After more skating she asked to use it again, and this time invited one of her buddies to come to the skate park, later Greg got a text from her buddy haha!

The whole time we were skating, she would take a rest and start building towers or playing with the garbage that was surrounding her, it didn't matter how filthy it was. Once she disappeared into one of the bowls and came back out holding her purse with a dog leash wrapped around it. Near the end of the session we sat back down on the ledge and she came rolling over and sat right on Greg's jackets. She than explained to us that she missed out partying the night before because she was walking her "dog" and that it wouldn't be a good idea to bring a dog to the skate park so she left it at "home". She also explained that her "car" got impounded and she was going to go get it back that day.

We decided we better leave, but i still had many questions going through my mind such as; does she have a dog or a car? does she even live in a house, and if so why was she by herself at a skate park at 7 in the morning? was her friend even going to show up?
These questions may never be answered, but I sure am excited to see what crazy person we run into next time we go to the skate park!

Cookie Swap!!

The Kutarnas, Biebers, Paige and Burns, and I had a little dinner get together. The dinner itself was pretty dang delicious  if I do say so myself, but afterwards we had a HUGE cookie swap!! 

Earlier in the week me and Arianne had been talking about the swap and were saying what kind of cookies we would be bringing, I had no idea what kind of cookie I would bring so I just said the most ridiculous thing I could think of at the time "Pumpkin Banana Cookies". After saying this, Arianne made me pinkie promise her that I would actually make them and put the recipe on my blog.

The day before the swap Joe and I went snowboarding/Snowmobiling (a post on that will be up shortly) so we were pretty exhausted and I still hadn't made my cookies. Since I promised I would bring cookies I just bought some and wrote "Marshall's Banana Pumpkin Cookies" on them so that technically i wouldn't have broke my promise to Arianne.

Seems Pretty Legit, I know!

Even though I thought I was safe from breaking my promise I still felt like I would have let Arianne down, so due to my good nature I decided to look online to see if there were actual recipes for banana pumpkin cookies, and turns out there were tons! So the next day before the swap I whipped those babies up and they were actually so good! But being the clever child I am, I thought it would be funny I still used the packaging from the other boughten cookies and just put my cookies inside them, just to trick Arianne.

She was fooled completely and pretty disappointed to say the least. Until she opened the package and unveiled these puppies!

 Here's the recipe just for you, Arianne.

Ingredients:

2 cups flour

1 cup oats

1 tsp baking soda

1 tsp ground cinnamon

1/2 tsp salt

1 cup softened butter

1 cup brown sugar

1 cup sugar

1 egg

1 tsp vanilla

1 cup canned pumpkin

1 cup semi sweet chocolate chips

1 Banana

Me, being a man, didn't read the instructions and just threw them all together and but them into the oven at 350 until they looked and tasted done.

Just look at all these cookies and all their glory! :)

All in all it was a pretty fun night with great food and better company. I will have to go to another one these... in a week.... Thanks a lot Paige and Burns for the invite!

Messin' With the Bieb's

Since I have moved up to Calgary there are times at night where me and Alex get a little bored. This is when we get the most creative, and this leads to some mischievous behaviour. At these times we there is nothing better than laughing at the expense of other people, aka - the bieber's (my sister Arianne and her husband Daryn). Some of our previous pranks included toilet papering their house and folding origami out of some money I owed them, but this one takes the cake!

Last night was just one of those nights where there was not a lot to do, and after noticing the neighbours had an old Christmas tree leaning against their house and that the biebers were out of town, we started hatching out a plan.

getting crafty we started making decorations!

It was also conveniently Arianne's Birthday so we used that as an excuse.

This is the final product! 

Than we just sat back and waited for the magic to happen! Luckily they were good enough sports to not kill us, so we could live to tell about it. All in all, it was a great prank and I regret nothing!

My First Mothah Flippin Blogpost!

You may be wondering to yourself... What is up with the blog title? Why is a boy making a blog? What kind of content do I expect to see on this blog? And of course Why has it taken so long for a blog worth actually visiting to be created.

My responses to those questions are... The blog title is what it is because a) It's the truth. b) It's just as random as this blog is going to be. c) I don't care what y'all think, cuz haters gonna hate!
The reason a boy is making a blog is because I dang well feel like it!
What you expect to see on my blog is anything i find interesting and anything in my life worthy enough to share with the world (so basically everything). You may find videos, pictures, stories, and other bits of shenanigans.

Lastly I'm just kidding about this being the only good blog (frankly it might suck) but there are plenty of great blogs out there! But if you are looking for some entertainment, this is the blog for you! So sit back and relax and let myunclesnameiswade.blogspot.com blow your mind!